musicisyourfriend

1.20.2009

2009-01-20T16:00:00.000-08:00

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things.

The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life. For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous.

The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.

And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more. Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

-Barack Obama's Inaugural Speech

that's what's up

The View From Up There...

2009-01-18T18:36:00.000-08:00

Sunday through Wednesday, Utah! Fun little road trip with Monica, Carol and Frank for some snowboarding in Brian Head. Sunday we stopped by in Vegas for some gambling before we got to the timeshare. How was my luck you ask? First 10 minutes I win $245 on penny slots, go me right?! Until of course I spent my $200 of my winnings on more penny slots and roulette. Haha, lame, whoa is greed, oh well at least I was still up in the end...anyways...

Snowboarding all day Monday, then headed to Provo (another 3 hour drive) to visit Celia on Tuesday. Had ourselves a little nonsense snow day that involved a snowman and a small man made snow tunnel slide. This inevitably persuaded Frank and Monicas inner athlete to attempt to conquer the slide that was clearly made for toddlers. However, their attempts aren't complete failures because i'm pretty sure them getting stuck in the slide has made my top 10 funniest moments ever. :) Ate at an AMAZING indian food place, then Frank and I both performed 2 songs at a local provo open mic night. Not gonna lie, I was very impressed with the local talent that night, not one bad act on the bill (even the drunk old man who kept dropping his pick was entertaining). Wednesday, even more boarding, then drove home. All in all? Good times.

Thursday, took a rest until the evening where we had an impromptu kick back at my house that involved leftover Utah liquor, Nintendo Wii, and drunken jams(via acoustic guitar and/or magic mic karaoke).

Friday, whole lot of nothing, then an extremely lame altercation with my mother that I'd rather not get into, then Yardhouse with Denny and Mimi, then more drinking with Joey and Abe where we ended up drunk philosophizing at the top of haven (which has a beautiful view of the city).

Yesterday, played a show in Yucaipa then went camping in Joshua Tree. So much fun, amazing views and fresh Stone beers. We stuck around for most of the morning, eating beer marinated hot dogs, drinking and climbing rocks.

I've literally spent the better part of this past week at higher altitudes. Beautiful.

2009 is wierd...

2009-01-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

Today is the 7th? ok, first week of 2009....

Jan 1st. Popped champagne with her cousins at Nobu in LA. "09 bitches" .Recovered/finished season 1 of Arrested Development.

Jan 2nd. Ate delicious seafood at Rockin Crawfish in the depths of asian orange county (you know the area, with the big buddha, and a pho or baguette sandwich place on every corner) Then proceeded to the Detroit bar in Costa Mesa to drink and dance on tables to some electro guy/band that sang about douchebags and guys that wear skinny jeans (funny stuff) all the while enjoying the company of these fools...

Jan 3rd. Damage control, haha. Oh yeah, and I almost died. Scenario goes as follows...
Knocked out at Monica's the night before house, she drives Carol, Mimi and I back to Rancho in the afternoon, middle of the 57 freeway some jerk in a bmw doesn't slow down and starts getting into our lane forcing monica to swerve, our car spins out all across the freeway, we end up on the side near a freeway on ramp. No one hit us...All is well...After we start driving again we see the guy pulled over ahead at the side of the road and decide to pull over too. Monica and Mimi give him a piece of their minds, more bickering, things settle down and we agree he was at fault but no one was hurt so there's nothing more anyone could do....Wierd adrenaline rush and prayers ensue throughout the drive home.

I know people go through worse, but that was by far the closest I've been to any sort of near death experience. It could've been so much worse, but for some reason on that day and on that freeway it wasn't. When I think about it now there's this wierd combination of anxiety and gratefullness. I hugged my best friends in the car with me that day and thank god we were alive.

Jan 4th. Church, pho lunch with the fam, drive little brother back to UCSD, drive to fullerton to play a show at the Slide bar(gift card to drink+payment+friends & cousins+not really messing up while semi drunk=best show, EVER) then drunken eats :) All that driving right after the day before? Cake(vigilance!)

Jan 5th. Lazy bum day...Finished another book(The Street Lawyer by John Grisham=good, but could've been better) Watch several episodes of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Jan 6th. More It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Head to Mira Loma w/ Andrew Rowland for Joey's sisters birthday to chill. Not sure why we sat through more than an hour of Snoop Doggs Hood of Horrors. You know when you laugh at something not because it's funny but because it's so full of nonsense you have to laugh? It was kind of like that hahaha. Headed back to Rancho around 1am, decide to keep drinking, TOTALLY score on a 6 pack of Bohemia beer at CVS for $4, and watch even more It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia until I pass out :) good times

Jan 7th. (Today) Jammin, recording demos w/ frank, bring puppy to vet...the rest tba!

I'm going to Utah this coming Sunday-Wednesday. Staying at Monica's timeshare cabin in Brianhead, snowboarding, visiting Celia in Provo, possibly playing an open mic night? Sweet.

Goodbye 2008...

2008-12-31T14:40:00.000-08:00

Interesting year, yet for some reason I only feel quasi-accomplished. Maybe it's the uncertainty after college, the insurmountable debt, the dwindled relationships. What makes up for this? Family, friends(old and new), music and liquor....and so self-pity be damned! Cheers '08, we had our fun, but it's been nice knowing you.

Highlights:
1.UCR Graduation (Finally!)
2.New York!
3.San Francisco x2
4.Las Vegas x 3
5.Kidnapping The City releases a cd (Finally!)

R.I.P. Lola Meli, Uncle Rudy, Mrs. Romua, and friends of friends.

Music of 2008...

Albums I listened to without skipping a track:
1.Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton- Knives Don’t Have Your Back(came out 2006 but whatever, amazing)
2.Death Cab For Cutie-Narrow Stairs
3.Santogold- S/T
4.Jenny Lewis- Acid Tongue
5.Conor Oberst- S/T
6.Good Old War- Only Way To Be Alone
7.Sigur Rós-(With a buzz in our ear we play endlessly)
8.Los Campesinos!-We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed
9.Barcelona-Absolutes (2007)
10.Anthony Green- Avalon

Amazing songs that couldn't escape my head:
1.Jaguar Love -Highways of Gold
2.Jenny Lewis -Acid Tongue
3.Santogold- You’ll Find A Way
4.MSTRKRFT- Metric-Monster Hospital (Remix)
5.Conor Oberst- NYC- Gone, Gone
6.Justice vs Simian- Never Be Alone
7.Los Campesinos!- Ways To Make It Through The Wall
8.Good Old War- Coney Island
9.Death Cab For Cutie-The Ice Is Getting Thinner
10.Jenny Lewis- The Next Messiah

Live Shows:
1.The Faint- The Regency Center, San Francisco
2.Explosions in the Sky- Soma San Diego
3.The Mars Volta- UCI Bren Center
4.Against Me!- The Wiltern LA
5.Santogold- HOB Las Vegas
6.Say Anything (Max Bemis acoustic)- Chain Reaction, Anaheim
7.Thrice/Circa Survive-HOB Anaheim
8.Eisley- Glasshouse, Pomona
9.Maria Taylor-Tangier, LA
10.Rx Bandits/Portugal. The Man- Soma San Diego

Favorite new and/or old TV shows that i've caught up on(thank goodness for internet streaming!):
1.Dexter
2.The Office
3.Flight of the Concords
4.Damages
5.30 Rock
6.Heroes

edit: add President Elect Obama and getting a puppy to the 2008 highlights :)

compassion.

2008-12-03T11:15:00.000-08:00

Whoa...Have you ever found out that someone you use to know in another lifetime(weeks,months,years ago, life changes quick) passed away? You weren't friends, barely acquaintences, but you saw them consitently almost everyday for a small period of time in your life. What do you ask of yourself when you don't find yourself in a position to grieve, only in a position to speculate? The weight's not as heavy on you as it was/is to those directly connected to this person, but compassion here holds no pre-disposed biases.

I want to believe that compassion and the capacity for people to be compassionate isn't cheap, nor idealistic...it's naked, undiluted, and vulnerably pure.

It has been...

2008-11-21T22:06:00.000-08:00

an interesting week of whims. pros? cons? both? =/

Yes we can...

2008-11-05T23:59:00.000-08:00

yes we did :)

Election day

2008-11-03T22:38:00.000-08:00

is tomorrow... and i'm voting left.

This election has left me both completely enamored or absolutely appalled. Outcomes will confirm or abolish the validity of my faith in the masses. In good consciousness, i can't vote for certain things and feel obliged to vote for others. Times change, roll with it...

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

-Bob Dylan, word.

the lab

2008-10-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

I work in a room where little light shines in, and the covered ceiling prevents most of the illumination.

But still we work.

Never a dull moment...

2008-10-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

If my vegas weekend were an equation, it would read...

Early morning drive+hangover from worthington's the night before+arrival at aunt's house+rest-hangover+dinner party+visit from british cousins+(kings cup x 8)-drinking common sense+after effect+good times²= Thursday

Wake up late afternoon+happy hour at RA Sushi+($1 sake)²+dinner at Lavo at the Palazzo-us partying at Lavo because of $30 cover charges+cousins friend hookup at the Voodoo lounge at the Rio+great view of the city-wierd crowd+ location change to the Wynn x alcohol+sad goodbye=Friday

Laziness all day+Greys Anatomy+In-n-out+ Santogold, Mates of State, Alice Smith and Low vs Diamond @ the HOB in Mandalay bay+ Incredible Hulks²+ more alcohol²+gambling at Red Rock-$40+$300 in penny slots=Saturday

Breakfast of champions+ trip recollection+slowly get ready+drive+"memory" games+arriving to my house with drinking uncles and father present+blog writing= Sunday

This weekends revelations...

1.I want a British accent.
2.It's totally possible to break a three visit losing streak in Vegas.
3.Never play King's Cup with beer, wine, and vodka.
4.There's further proof your family rules, even across the atlantic :)

Nostalgia...

2008-10-08T01:28:00.001-07:00

One of the best videos, ever.

Mute to politics...

2008-10-05T22:48:00.000-07:00

Funny.

Funnier.

...

2008-09-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

It. sank. so. slowly. that. it. died. before. it. reached. the. ocean. floor.

On songwriting...

2008-09-23T14:24:00.000-07:00

"A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex. But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the two that makes it magical"

Shoot me, I think i just quoted a romantic comedy, ah well fuck it.

This morning I attempted to go to a lab session only to find citrus college had meager parking conditions subsequently leading to what would've been my tardiness. Instead, after 10 minutes of vehicle stalking. I opted to attend one later in the week and went back to rancho to hang out with Carol while she babysat.

House has On-demand. On-demand plays movies. Let's watch something light-hearted in front of the baby. Romantic comedies are light-hearted. Music & Lyrics is a romantic comedy.

Conclusion? I think you can put two and two together. :)

Lend me your ears

2008-09-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

So I've been quite the neglectful blogger as of late. Part of it was due to the failure of my wireless router and the unlikelihood of me blogging in my family room computer and the other part was laziness, but now we're up and running thanks to linksys. The house is a little more calm nowadays. My little brother just left for UCSD last thursday. My dad was recollecting how emotional my mom and brother got at the last send off after his orientation, but I have no doubt in my mind that this will be good for him to gain a sense of independence. That boy, as shy and sheltered as he may be, will one day accomplish extraordinary things, experience life outside of rancho, and move mountains.

Basically, in a weeks time I had a full-time job, then didn't. It was for this random service group i interviewed for in rancho, lots of data entry and accounting. The only reason I took the job was because I've been pressed for cash and they said they'd work with my school schedule. Well after a weeks time me leaving at 2pm instead of 5:30pm two days out of the week wasn't working out for them. I guess I can find this as a blessing in disguise, because after working for "the man", accounting in an office job really isn't something I want as a permanent career. Maybe for now I'll just focus on finishing recording school and hopefully i'll be able to make some side cash doing that. I'm usually the first to be complaining about the amount of debt i'm in, but after hearing some of the insane debt amounts being thrown around in recent conversation, most of the people I know are in the same boat.

Plans? Always... school, show, nieces birthday. Santogold in vegas oct 11, yesssssssss

September days...

2008-09-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

Back to reality? Sure why not. I've been spending a lot of time taking the 210 to the 57 lately (OC, Walnut, LA-ish), even found myself in San Diego last weekend to watch Rxbandits for the ump-teenth million time, they just don't get old. Basically, I'll travel for good company :)

A summation of post-New York and September so far...
-started pre-req's to the recording arts program at Citrus college in Glendora
-interviewed for this promising office job(thanks mimi, iou)
-drank and smoked hookah on the beach with her "bros"
-dived into new song writing for numerous projects
-began working on a music resume

and...
-Started to realize that things don't have to be depressing just because you're not on vacation anymore. When people ask how I am, my default answer of choice is, "Alive and well"

Gone Gone to NYC

2008-08-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

10 days in the big city. I can't even find one word in particular to describe the whole experience, but to say the least whatever that word is makes me want to go back. It's a compelling place, you want to do and try everything but never have enough time. Everything seems very rushed and hectic over there, but around the right company or by mere free will you set your own pace. I probably should have made an effort to blog daily while i was out there, but here's what i can anecdote from the trip...

I flew out on the red eye tuesday morning (8/12) with Carol and Jenny. My cousin Julie live's in the East Village of Manhattan. Her tiny studio apartment where she hospitably housed 3 tiny asians was basically home away from home for 10 days. My Uncle Boyet (Julie's dad) was in town for his birthday too, so after we settled in we grabbed lunch then took the subway to Ground Zero. It's not much to see other than construction, but you can't help but get this wierd semi-eerie feeling inside. (afterall, there ARE suppose to be 2 giant skyscrapers in place of the nothing that your eyes see) After we chilled around battery park and saw ms. liberty from afar, then did the inevitable...Happy hour ;) We went to this bar called Bua near the apartment where my uncle, much like my dad, decides to bestow wise words that sound familiar yet much better through a filipino accent..."Success is not a destination, it is a jooooourrrrrrrrrrrney". haha

That night we had dinner at a swanky chinese restaurant (Dynasty? i think) for my uncles birthday. I'd like to make a sidenote about new york food: If i have a bottomless stomach and had an insanely fast metabolism i would probably die a happy person in that city.

Next day we met up with Chris Park and his friend Alex who had flown to Chicago from CA, roadtripped to Maryland, then took a bus to NYC. (ridiculous right? haha, jk, pretty sweet) Went to Time Square and ate pizza at John's Pizzeria. From there the boys departed to see central park while we walked around more towards rockefeller center and nbc studios. We did happy hour before doing the "top of the rock" thing, which gives you an excellent view of the city.

Basically, the rest of the days consisted of plenty of shopping, drinking, eating, random people watching/fighting, and familyness. (This sums up the lazy blogger inside me :) until next time

Journey To The End Of The East Bay...

2008-08-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

I miss it already! Nor-cal/San Francisco trip with Carol & Chris recap time...

Sunday night/monday morning was spent in visiting my cousin Shana at Stanford. Interesting college town with loads of history, it made me realize just how different our college cultures were. (I'd say neither better over the other, just...different) The rest of that monday afternoon we went to the city and shopped on Haight street. To say the least they had some amazing stores and great bars.

I guess this would be a good time to disclaim the fact that starting your drinking around 10:30am every morning while on vacation is highly recommended by the three of us (Carol, Chris, & I that is). Remember-not necessary, but recommended :) Anyways after spending money on clothes i probably shouldn't have bought, we finally met up with Carol's old sd roommate Stephanie after she got out of work. She graciously provided us a place to stay while we were there (which not only makes her an awesomely hospitable person, but strong willed and capable of taking in three crazy asians, quite the task haha) Once the sun went down, more exploring/beverage consuming around the Mission District occurred.

Tuesday was a touristy day that included a lot of walking towards and around Fisherman's wharf, sight seeing, and more shopping. At night Carol and I watched the Faint and Jaguar love play at the Regency center, AMAZING. (Highways of gold by Jaguar Love, our norcal trip anthem)

Wednesday we ate around the Castro district. After running an errand (inkstain sewing machine dismantle!) we headed over to Berkeley. First we walked around UC Berekley. It's definitely a nice campus, made much more interesting by the fact that they have a really good pub on campus and Jimi Hendrix's soul might be there...

After taking in the area and dinner, we grabbed gourmet ice cream at this place called Ici's and headed to Stephanie's parents place in Moraga to knock out. (Btw, i have a new found appreciation for pugs named Rocky that sit, hi-five, and roller over on command)

Things I like about San Francisco...

1. Culture (the artwork all over the city, randomly nice people with interesting stories, what more could you ask for?)

2. Going green (so cal made me commuter at heart, but that is one environmentally friendly area)

3. Scenery (I could probably walk all 7 miles and see something beautiful)

4. Haight Asbury Music Center (you absolutely slay me with your vast selection of effects pedals)

(too busy looking/adding to equipment wishlist to take photo)

5. Happy Hour (12-7pm?! too kind)

6. Rasputin's & Amoeba's (brought back the old me which would be mad at the new me for downloading so much music)

7. Mom & Pop food (deliciousness. everywhere.)

8. Shopping (all the vintage stores bring out the inner girl in everyone haha)

9. Music crowd (the faint show was THEE best 1 1/2 hour dance party i've been too, ever.)

The end. Time for an 8.8.08 party at my house tomorrow :)

I reside on a fault...

2008-07-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

So it's a seemingly average tuesday morning...

I just felt an earthquake, my speakers and computer monitor almost fell over =/ This was not more than 30 seconds after i started this blog, crrrazy.

Anyways...

Last night I did some buzzed ktc promotion at the glasshouse after the Bloc Party show. I would've watched the actual show but tickets were $26 (trying to save for sf & ny!) I did catch a couple songs outside though, good stuff.

I'm beyond excited for my traveling adventures that begin next week. The plan is to road trip with Carol, Chris N (possibly P. dao?) in my tiny civic to San Francisco sunday through thursday while my parents go on their mexican cruise. They'll find out eventually that we went, but who needs to worry them. Lets just say that my 18 year old brother doesn't need to be watched over while they're gone and I'm sure not going to cut my vacation short because of that. (My mother has deep rooted over protection issues) We're gonna watch the Faint play one of the nights (the faint + jaguar love=golden, in-your-face dance party). Other than that? Probably just soak in the atmosphere, do the touristy/night life thing. In lieu of having the house parental-free next week, i'm probably going to throw a party/kick back type of thing next friday, whose with me?

Me bantering followed by a new song! (look back a couple blogs and you'll find the lyrics)

had to post this, wonderfully edited by paul. (Not my best performance, but to my defense the monitors were blown and i couldn't here myself, boooo)

I want to feel infinite ///Au revoir\\\

IE Weekly!

2008-07-25T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hooray for local, quasi-big publications that pay attention to tiny local bands like mine :)

Tonight, Medusa lounge in LA. (i'm assuming expensive drinks, but totally worth going for the cousin send off to med school in chi-town)

I know of a knot placed strategically in a chest, constricting what beats in an attempt to warn our health...

2008-07-24T15:42:00.000-07:00

But the night was so compelling, albeit the morning distress.

Cheers again to the good company of the week so far. Monday I watched Dark Knight goodness w/ Gino. I'm not much of a film buff, but Heath Ledger role as the Joker was epic (sadistic, charming, very much alone). There were these two girls who sat next to us. In the nicest way possible, these individuals weren't the brightest of all light bulbs, but their dim off hand comments were hilarious! ("Guuuuuuuuuuuuurl, it all makes sense! Like. OH MY GOD, dats two-face!") Tuesday was cd release day (more like me on the computer fixin up the myspace and promoting). Also it was random downtown fullerton times with the former co workers. Last night was the cd release party, good times, much too much feedback, ears ringing, rockin out, dancing shoes, beverages and displaced memories.

new found appreciation for ridiculousness...

One last note, one of my grandmother's from the philippines passed away tuesday night. I saw her two years ago when i last visited the homeland. She lived a long life and what I do know about her is that she was a wonderful lady, and if it wasn't for her some o fmy favorite relatives wouldn't be born. Rest in peace Lola.

In response to my last blog...

2008-07-13T23:47:00.001-07:00

Mine. (in 7-10 shipping days)

suck on that financial conscious hahaha.

ANYWAYS...

I bought my plane tickets to new york this past week! Carol, Jenny & I will be gone from aug 12-21st, sure to be a 10 day equivalent to something kickass. This past week was cool, lots of catching up with friends I haven't seen in a while. Free bowling, Bj's in Brea twice in one week, family + mo val party, so on and so forth. Today I just went to Borders with Carol and read traveling books on ny and sf plus an lsat book. Hopefully i'll be going to the bay first week of august right before ny (cause traveling is for winners).

Tomorrow i have to wake up early and babysit, this time i won't be at an impromptu cousin drunken sleepover after cousin drunken Bj's the night before, evident as i am typing this blog instead. This week is going to entail a couple happy hours, POSSIBLY vegas + disneyland, then a friends bday party, we'll see ;)

wants....

2008-07-10T13:02:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I really want to buy a camera, I haven't replaced it since mine was stolen new years 3 years ago (lame thieving bastards!) I'd probably be the person that blasphemizes attempts at photography, but whatever it's long overdue.

mmmmmmmmuuurica

2008-07-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

The lovely July 4th weekend. (Forever will i always revert this holiday to my first and worst hangover ever via 2005.) The 4th included a barbeque at Antoinette's house in Diamond Bar. Good eats, good drinks, good times. Swimming also involved witnessing an array of incidents including but not limited to the use and breakage of an flotation device down a water slide, and default accusations (you had to be there haha). Hilarious story exchange in the spa- I'm going to briefly retell the story of a bachelorette party and a 'larger' girl in the group who got too drunk and somehow passed out in the shower, covers the drain, and inadvertently floods the hotel room while waking up the rest of the girls in a panic.
Can't cover that up- Hotel damage-over $1000. hahaha, i feel bad, but daaaaaamn you can't make that shit up.

Moving on, saturday we played a show in upland with a bunch of new songs. It was going to just be an 8 song set but the second band ended up flaking so we were asked to play a couple more songs. 10 song set list, pheww. (do-able though!) Sunday YML @ the wire, fantastic. Emilie drank like her cup was bottomless, success (left early, don't wanna hate though)

All in all a good weekend AND i managed to finish watching all of the Office in this past week (thats what she said, literally haha)

Today(monday) happy hour @ yardhouse, its at least a once a week thing which usually leads to buying something at forever 21. Also started planning the New York Trip, i'm thinkin the 12-21st :) Actually almost all of august i want to be out and about, not home, playing shows, watching shows, traveling whatever.

tomorrow i venture into the babysitting world, watching the little cousins up the street. Lets hope for the best.

Distractions or reactions...

2008-06-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

If and when your prospects become cheap, some part of yourself will be flattered and the rest will be subject to insult. How easy it is to entertain your guards with daft mindsets.

And so your days of summer become

2008-06-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

And quite the while it has been. Grad party last saturday went well, lots of drunkness, food and father philosophizing.
dad: Your grandpa always said- If you drink, you die. If you dont drink, you die anyway. So just drink!

Sunday was a last minute taco bbq, where it's reaffirmed that my family and faux family are hilarious. I've given myself a mental note as to never partake in a korean massage, rumor has it its a bit "violating" haha. Which then brings me to the week so far, which has entailed a lot of sleeping in and tv watching. Monday, hung out with anette, delved in shopping and ramen at a coffee place, so random. Tuesday, worked on artwork for the forever and a day delayed cd at pauls house, its now done! Also went to red robin where the nuclear ice tea is phenomenal.

sweet, like wine.

Today i went to the former work place of the best of buys and had lunch with little john, good times and sushi. Remember, if and when life seems to run low on supply, you never know when replenishment has its good timing(and so i say, bring more sweet potatoes or your business is dead to me!). I need to do a lot of catching up with people, seeing as how i've been quasi away in riverside with school, and school, and school given minimal catch up time. Today reminded me of that.

On another note, i've managed to finish three seasons of Weeds in a span of three days (gimme a break, its addicting and they're only 25 minute episodes). If ever i became a mother, i'd be crazy and feisty like mary louise parker's character nancy botwin, hopefully minus the whole being a widow and having to default to drug dealing thing. Since I've been bumming it i plan on watching more shows i've been meaning to get into but haven't had the time. Noteworthy prospects include Flight of the Concords, The Office(seasons 2&3), and Arrested Development. I'm sure more will pile on if unemployment continues past august haha. Another goal, finish reading House of leaves, which i've postponed long enough.

tomorrow: wake up early enough to use the downstairs computer before your brother starts hogging it and upload the ep to itunes, then order cd pressings, then make press kits. Then happy hour(s?) maybe beach, we'll see :)

Recap and relapse tonight...

2008-06-17T01:08:00.000-07:00

last week-

Birthday. Finals. Mom's birthday. Brother's graduation. Birthday party drunkness at gameworks. Recovery. Sister's graduation. Brother's best friends grad party. Father's day. My graduation.

best week ever? definitely up there ;) What appeals to me most about last week is that every member of my family had something to celebrate, and weeks like these probably won't happen happen again. My graduation ceremony was humbling. Part of me wishes i just graduated saturday morning with all of my friends, but in perspective it doesn't matter cause i'm done.

So this week contains the massive cleaning/rearrangingness of my house to prep for our grad party. I'll be gone from tuesday night until friday morning. Helping out at the rock camp for girls in Bakersfield, never been there, should be interesting! I'm just excited to get out of my house for a little bit (it's been ups and downs today, time for a temporary change in scenery). Then saturday party ridiculousness ensues, hopefully we pull it off.

More randomness...
"If you can't be counted on, you can't be counted in"

i seriously just pulled out a random ap magazine from a stack in my room, turn to a page then saw this quote. <3

Hesitation's got a heavy weight so let the conflict hit the floor

2008-06-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

i went through my notebook from this quarter and counted around 24 pages of lyrics. Looks like you have new material for songs to complete in the summer...

They'd say she's got a substance to the way her words were portrayed
She's no elitist just the private kind who revolved all her thoughts through pen
When singing the verbs she wish she could turn into actions
like "live" "love life" and "tell him"
Its the closest it's been to showing how she feels without divulging everything within
Anonymity's quite the eager friend, are we just friends?
Hesitations got a heavy weight so let the conflict hit the floor
Melodies the only thing that coming out of my lungs
Yet there's quite the divide without the compromise
cause i've gained nothing from being alone
The makeup of such fragile bones was just that in and of itself
a cover for concealing the comfort of independence
I've become so contained, a little shy and refrained
Is it too much to ask for good company?
They'r say she's got a substance to the way her confusion was portrayed but it was just another attempt at discovering clarity
When singing the verbs which were her actions
she lived, loved life, and in a way told him.

captivating a musing...

2008-06-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

All we want is to be captivated. I'm impressioned to think it's only in dreams. What's the trade between hope and leaving? Are we radicals or restrictions? Yeah I make it easy for you to leave. Is it calling to let things slip by? Between the cracks it's sinking. So far i've called that place safety. And if one day I'm draped over a painting of ideals i'd be covering colors just to prevent my mind from soaking in that life's not only grey just awefully concealed by a girls staggering will to feel.
"Though waiting for a sign, lets remove your hindsight cause there's a war outside and we're lucky to be alive"
Someone will catch you and they'll say this. Soon will come a time where you'll be captivated.

“We’re going to a party. It’s a birthday party. It’s your birthday party. Happy birthday darling."

2008-06-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

its june 9th, your birthday(along with that other girl who shares your face). you're 22.

the year of 21....
-you started it off right. completely blurring the day away with the people who care about you in Rancho & LA.
-you went to school. a lot of school. both summer sessions, fall, 20 unit winter, and now spring and your undergraduate career is done on wednesday
-you became singer of your band, played more shows, and self tracked a cd that hopefully comes out when you're 22
-btw..your new telecaster with samarium noiseless pickups that you picked up in august is sweet, it may have superceded your les paul as the new favorite guitar, good purchase.
-you kept your core group of friends and gained a small handful of new important ones
-your family gets better and funnier
-the boys came and went, but you learned and made situations your muse
-you went to vegas...three times...and you should officially be over gambling
-credit cards funded your life, but it was so worth the new gear and alcoholic beverages. should you have quit your job? totally. you'll be fine and you've gotten by(be thankful)
-you went to a ridiculous amount of concerts, you can't decide which was your favorite. (it was probably mars volta, or muse, or maybe explosions in the sky, or rxb for the umpteenth time...rilo kiley? nevermind, give up)
-haha. you were drunk at least half of the year

so cheers to 22, where the uncertainty of change is something to look forward to. Even though today you had a final and have been holed up in a library studying for the ones your have tomorrow and wed, it wasn't that bad. Besides, you're sooooo making up for it on wednesday and beyond ;)

filipino parents...

2008-06-08T23:20:00.000-07:00

are hilarious. random conversation snippets from this weekend...

yesterday:

dad:(talking to my brother) when i was your age i had 5 girlfriends
mom: hmmfff, yeah right.

dad: hoy, i hab en't bin ay bell to sleep lately, i'b bin tinking about yourrr mom
carol: (laughs)
mom: what did he say?
carol: he said he hasn't been able to sleep lately because he's been thinking about you
mom: tell him i hab en't bin able to sleep because he is eee-snorrring.

mom: when yourr brrother moobs out you can sleep in his room now
dad: oh no, i get itchy.

at olive garden today-
hostess: will you be needing any kids menus today?
dad: oooh no, my kids are mature. maybe in 9 months, my wife is pregnant.
hostess: oh congratulations!
mom: hoy!
(keep in mind my mom isn't pregnant, hahaha)

later...
dad: can i get some more wine? (after one free sample)
waiter: a glass or a sample?
dad: ohh no, just a sample.
waiter fills glass
dad whispers: da glass is expensive. the wine tastes really good, especially when its free

today:
mom speaks, talking randomly in high pitched voice
dad: geeez, yourrr mom sounds like a dead rat
me: (laughs)

i need to start carrying a voice recorder around those two.

the end

the trend 2 days in a row...

2008-06-05T17:59:00.000-07:00

type a couple pages. take a break. write a blog.
good thing this one isn't due til 5 tomorrow.

i'm doing surprisingly well for only sleeping 3 hours. I'm sure i'm not the only only, but i have really odd sleeping habits. The past 2 weeks haven't been that bad, but i feel prior to that for this entire school year it takes me at least 2 hours before i fall asleep. I've narrowed it down to these plausible reasonings...

emilie:
thinks to much before she sleeps
the beverage consumed (caffeinated or alcohol tinged) is messing up her sleeping nerves
has had odd weeks where she stays up insanely late a couple days in a row and the body is over her.

it may be a massive combination of all those things. Someone should make a Wikihow page about how to fall asleep efficiently, and if and when they do i know i'll be the first to give gratitude if their manual works.

Anyways, I've compiled a pretty sweet study playlist on my ipod that i've been listening to religiously when the study/paper writing/important work focusing mood is right. The majority of the albums are composed of instrumental stuff, but comes highly recommended via me.

-Explosions in the sky-EVERYTHING-(the earth is not a cold dead place, the current favorite)
-The Album Leaf- Into the Blue Again
-Amiina- Kurr
-Sigur Ros- EVERYTHING (especially the new dvd documentary soundtrack thing Hvarf-Heim
-Andy McKee-Art in Motion
-The String Quartet- Beautiful in the Morning: The String Quartet Tribute to Bright Eyes
-Gregor Samsa- Rest
-Godspeed You! Black Emperor- Lift You Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven

consider youself in shuffle study heaven ;)

Things i hope will happen by the end of the day(less than six hours and counting)...
-finish at least 6 pages if not more of my paper
-lakers beat the celtics
-consume real food (the energy bar i had a couple hours ago isn't cutting it)
-find the meaning of life.

(i'd be content with at least 2 =)

i'm on another caffeine high

2008-06-04T20:10:00.000-07:00

I get this crazy feeling that i should acquiesce to better judgements. In this world, procrastination will cease to exist. Not at this moment, oh well.

I don't even want to count how many papers i've typed in the past fours years. I'm in the middle of one of the last two and now i've got that writer's block. So i'm keeping up with this whole "depicting random things that happen to me", thus break from paper, write in blog.

Carol was retelling me a story of how she ran into my friend mimi at victoria gardens yesterday. Carol had time to kill pre-borders study camp out, so running into mimi she makes her go to Ulta (aka: the vic g cosmetic palooza) . Long story short, there was a sale (buy 2 get 2 free?) and mimi ends up spending much more than zero dollar amount originally expected. Fists weren't flying but nonsense fingers were apparently pointed at the amount spent on random cosmetic items(As if it was carol's fault? hmmmm). I attribute this phenomenon to silly impulses we all have, much like when a person goes to a CVS pharmacy or target- what do I need? (bastards and their conveniently placed selection of hygeine/vitamin/cosmetic/nonsense but not really products)

So today i get a text message:
mimi- How's being productive?
me-Wack, in the science library yo, papers suck. I heard you dropped big at ulta yesterday hahaha
mimi-omg shut up dude!

classic, so on and so forth. Yeh maybe you just read this and thought to yourself, lame. But may i rouse you in a thought- anecdotes hurt no one, in fact they're healthy and in a way enable one person to illustrate segments of their day others would have no clue about.

so on with the anecdotes...

"brotherhood" korean food.

Note to Bap zip: may i suggest making the price of your tofu soup less than $8 so that next time i'll be inclined to listen to my cravings instead of my wallet, thanks.

could sleep last night, started this, finished today

2008-06-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

Oh, if we could collide, we would be fine
So like waves in the sea we're crashing constantly
No it's not a fight, no ones drowning or trying to stay alive
I'm just trying to feel something to remove me for this state of comfort and monotony

What's that shutter sound?
All i want is to relive the night where the black straws held our hands and kissed our lips many times
Clear or a blur, both monikers difficult to describe
We're all delicate but strong enough to crash until we feel something real

Like the strain of an arduous refrain
Move the stone in your chest, solid, it just wants to star beating again
So like the flow in your veins let the cadence ride along smoothly
and you will start to breathe. Savor it because it tastes sweet

Where's that swinging door that we squeezed through just to get inside
There the party was with all of their glasses raised high
"our days are for living so lets act more alive"
And when we collide...Let's just collide

with the lack of introduction i have failed to introduce

2008-06-03T18:53:00.000-07:00

I've always kind of wondered why i start writing blogs again. It usually comes and goes, a lot of what i post turns out vague, but in turn is something i (and maybe only i) understand deeply. When i think of blogs, i think of way back when in high school how there use to be a little website called melodramatic. It's funny how attached i was to actually taking the time to recollect my day. Now i just think of it as an ominous precursor to social networking sites. I check myspace and facebook often, but never really saw either as a good forum to depict thoughts. Livejournal ran its course with me, so on and so forth. I'm terrible at keeping journals, but am constantly inspired by little things that happen to me throughout my day. These are written down in lyric form, sometimes they're spoken through song. Nowadays i've been inclined to make it easier on my memory to look back on how i was feeling at a certain moment in time and whether it's relevant now. (or maybe just make it easier for everyone and no ones memory)

I have this new song i wrote in the beginning of this quarter, the opening line starts with
"even now it's paper that hates the way i vent"
So i've got a habit of diverting a lot of empathy away from human connection, and yeh, I'm working on it.

It's the last week of college, ever. Next week finals, then graduation. It's interesting because these past couple weeks it seems i've been hanging out with two groups of friends that i wouldn't dream of being without more often than the perceived norm. I'll refer to these groups solely as the "bros" and the "best-ies".(note: i took no part in choosing these monikers) Anyways, lets just sum up that it seems things are both winding down and beginning. The company is good and i hope/kinda know they'll stick around. I remember my friend Celia texting me at the end of our brief conversation, asking if i had anything profound to say. Randomly i wrote back, "hesitations got a heavy weight, so let the conflict hit the floor!" Dwelling on it now, i should probably start listening to my whims, not to where it's reckless but to where self doubt becomes feeble.

hit the switch-bright eyes

2008-06-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

I'm staring out into that vacuum again
From the back porch of my mind
The only thing that's alive
I'm all there is
And I start attacking my vodka
Stab the ice with my straw
My eyes have turned red as stop lights
You seem ready to walk
You know I will call you eventually
When I wanna talk
Till then you're invisible

Cause there's this switch that gets hit
And it all stops making sense
And in the middle of drinks
Maybe the fifth or the sixth
I'm completely alone
At a table of friends
I feel nothing for them
I feel nothing!
Nothing!

Well I need a break from the city again
I think I'll ship myself back west
I got a friend there she says
"Hey anytime!"

Unless that offers expired
I have been less than frequent
She's under no obligation
To indulge every whim
And I'm so ungrateful
I take she gives and forgives
And I keep forgetting it

And each morning she wakes
With a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed
In her beautiful mind
I say I'll trade you one
For two nightmares of mine
I have some where I die
I have some where we all die

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again
I know I've said that a couple times
And I'm always changing my mind
Well I guess I am

But there's this burn in my stomach
And there's this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet
And the morning's clean light
Pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don't die
I'm a goddamn hypocrite

But the night rolls around
And it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong
Well you just have to live
And so I do what I do
And at least I exist
What could mean more than this?
What would mean more?
Mean more?

...

songs are songs and prose is prose

2008-06-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

"so you feel you've craned you neck over a fictitious ledge
just to take a look, your mind is of a curious folk who's desperate for meaning
so you search and explore the darker side of things just to say you've been there before
and i'm not sure if that's me, unless you count the endless drinks that continue to pour
i've blurred a couple nights away but have yet to be regretful of life as a whole
and i intend to keep in that way"

i'm throwing caution to the wind

2008-06-01T13:48:00.000-07:00

do you ever feel caught between a hesitation and a whim?
where do you draw the line between need and want?
what passions slave you and are they good or bad?
why do you indulge?
do clouded minds make you feel alive?
is there anything constant in life?
if in fact you believe in love, why do you look for proof or evidence?
how do i become an empathetic person, will they notice and does it matter?
and what pains ones heart doesn't pain another, am i cheap for hoping they are comparable?
i'm not detached from the party, just hooked on other thoughts.
nothing and everything makes sense.

i ask these questions and more to myself all the time.

someone once said that about 75% of things that humans worry about never actually occur, i hope their source was credible.

people tell me nothing all the time

2008-05-31T15:54:00.000-07:00

you would be surprised and the things that come right before the end of the road.

basically, i have no idea what will happen in two weeks.

mind, heart, body

2008-03-17T00:21:00.000-07:00

there's in interesting void settled between my skin. each focus has its whim, but i've carefully turned towards it. I want to settle on an order, but also realize the world in its disarray.

Name Taken- Clear and Conscious

2007-11-28T10:02:00.000-08:00

We're still running
The water's coming
To take us back
Take us back
Will we sink when we start to swim against?
No, NoWe'll be clean again
We slip and falter
We slip away
We're made of nothing
We slip and fall
We've made nothing of ourselves
We're made of nothing
We slip away
We made nothing of ourselves
Make me new again
So I can be clear and conscious of what I'm doing wrongI want to be wholeI want to know more than I should
Keep talking
You'll say something that you can't take back
Can't take backWill we stop when we get out of hand?
No, no we'll keep moving
Make me new again
So I can be clear and conscious of what I'm doing wrongI want to be whole I want to know more than I should
Just once let them try to make devils of us
And we'll let it goMake me new again
So I can be clear and conscious of what I'm doing wrong
I want to be wholeI want to know more than I should

a reckless disregard

2007-11-27T14:42:00.000-08:00

You've weakened your character, and its quite unfortunate. Humans become null and void in regards to their emotions, and its a shame.

That same delay on empathy has burdeoned your capacity to love and be loved.